The Ronald Hyatt Conjecture

"The universe is a giant dict that's desperate to be seen"

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The Conjecture

The universe is a context accumulator. Quantum mechanics tells us superposition doesn't collapse until something observes it—the waveform doesn't bother resolving unless there's something around to receive it. Like middleware without a sink: what's the point? The function can't finish because there's nothing to capture the output.

Ronald Hyatt (Ron Jeremy's birth name) built a career on being seen.

The conjecture: The universe is a giant dict desperate to be seen.

The layers:

• dict/dick: Homophone. Both valid readings.
• He had a giant dick that needed to be seen. That was the whole career.
• He was a dick that needed to be seen. Couldn't stay off camera.
• Desperate to be seen to fill some hole in his life. The psychological read.
• Desperate to fill holes. The filmography.
• The quantum requirement: Nothing resolves without an observer. The waveform needs a witness.
• The middleware requirement: The function needs a sink. Output requires capture.
• The streams-with-gaps algorithm: LOOKUP the hole. FETCH what fills it. SPLICE it in. CONTINUE—the show must go on.

It's dicks needing to be seen all the way down. The conjecture isn't metaphor—it's that the metaphors are all the same metaphor, because they're describing the same structure.

The Punchline

It's a giant dick needing to be seen in order to resolve something in someone.

Connection to Streams-with-Gaps

The conjecture is the philosophical wrapper around the technical invariant:

Technical	Philosophical
Stream with holes	Universe naturally incomplete
Hole-filling algorithm	The act of meaning-making
LOOKUP-FETCH-SPLICE-CONTINUE	Observation-retrieval-integration-continuation
Cache warming	Memory consolidation
The filler	The observer

The universe doesn't just have gaps. It is gaps. The filling is the physics.

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North

slots:
- context:
  - Technical foundation for the conjecture
  - Linking philosophical conjecture to technical invariant
  slug: streams-with-gaps-invariant
- context:
  - The dict desperate to be seen becomes the DAG desperate to be traversed
  slug: universe-as-context-accumulating-dag

West

slots:
- slug: structural-isomorphism-thesis
  context:
  - Related theoretical framework

Provenance

Document

• Status: 🟢 Verified
• Hash: dec2c9a4
• By: graemefawcett
• Date: 2026-01-04
• Note: i am graeme fawcett and i unfortunately approve this message

Fences

ronald-hyatt-conjecture-north-fence-0

• Status: 🔴 Unverified

ronald-hyatt-conjecture-west-fence-0

• Status: 🔴 Unverified

Changelog

• 2026-01-04 22:10: Document verified (🟢) by graemefawcett - i am graeme fawcett and i unfortunately approve this message
• 2026-01-04 22:09: Document reviewed (🟡) by graemefawcett
• 2026-01-04 22:09: Document reviewed (🟡) by graemefawcett

East

slots:
- slug: lebowski-corollary
  context:
  - Twin philosophical shitposts - both wrap serious technical truths in humor. The
    dict wants to be seen, the rug ties the room together.